"We're all taking on too much, we're all asking too much of ourselves. We're all wishing we could do more, and therefore just doing more."

Dear Diary, Wow! It's been a while since I've written... There have been many wonderful things that have happened since the last time I've written and some not so great things (not horrible). Today I'm writing about one with a little bit of both.

Back in March, I was approached by MSU to start assisting with their Educational Technology Certificate Program. I was so excited to be given this kind of opportunity. I couldn't believe it. So in May I began assisting with the 811 course. It went okay, but as we started to get close to the end of the year, I was having some difficulties with keeping up with work... but did alright. Once school got out, then I was fine. I was feeling pretty good.

As that class was getting close to an end, I was set up to assist in the 810 course. I was also offered to assist in 812 (at the same time). I really thought I could handle the load. I was just assisting after all (was what was going through my mind). Plus, during those two classes, I was scheduled to go on vacation for a week with Rockstar and start teaching Summer School, followed by the Film Festival. Well, with these two classes I have recieved e-mails from both professors that I was working with checking to see (aka gently remind me) how I was doing with keeping up with the class.

Last week Wednesday, I don't know if it was that my allergies were kicking in, if I was feeling the stress increasing from feeling behind, all of the above, but I sent an e-mail to the woman who organizes the assistants and such. I don't her the scenario and asked what she suggested. I knew I couldn't keep up with both courses. She suggested that I drop both classes. I was not surprised, but immediately disappointed in myself.

I am not the kind of person to just take on things and then quit them. This was a very tough feeling for me to deal with. I kept crying when I would have to talk about... I took it out a little bit on Rockstar. However, angels are watching and my friend Botleft called. She listened to what was going on and offered me a few pieces of advice:

1. It best to realize our limits and accept them.
2. When I was single, then I had more 'time' on my hands. Now that another person has come in, its important to take care of that relationship too. (a reminder that soon too kids will be in the picture and I would have even less time.)
   
3. (With regards to money that I was hoping to use for the wedding) It was money that I didn't have, so no spilt milk.

I felt much better after our conversation and appreciated the phone call. It was completely unplanned and I don't think I've messed up my chances for working with MSU. I just now know that the expectations that I set for myself and what is required of the program, needs more time available on my end. I have learned a very important lesson and even though it was a tough decision, I already feel much better because of it. I don't feel like I'm sacrificing my relationship with Rockstar to work... Thanks to all who had offered me advice and reassurances that I'm not a Super Woman.