“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction” Winston Churchill

Dear Diary,

This year has been focused on change... not just for me, my friends, but everyone. We are in a unique time, for this generation. Older generations have experience economic hardships and know that it is a wave, but what about kids experiencing this for the first time? But there is so much more change going on in addition to the economy. Many people I know are making lifestyle changes. Many have become single again over the last year, for most, not by their own doing. Some are welcoming (or about to welcome) a new life. Others are just re-evaluating, re-adjusting, and re-investing in themselves.

Where do I fall into those categories? Hmmm, how personal do I want to get with you diary... I don't think it's any secret that at this time last year I was dating again. (Actually, a year ago tonight I was being experimental with sushi... hmmm, sushi!) But once that story ends, then the re-inventing process begins. It's a chance, which I've been give a few times, to look at yourself and the situation and figure out where to improve yourself. COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION. Ugh! My weakness... one of them.

Anyways, I like to play-back moments in my head and see people and their change, their choices, their experiences. Some are successfully discovering their next best self... others are really struggling. I see those that aren't quite sure what their reinvented self will become... some know, but don't want to start the journey because it will hurt too much... some are partially starting in that adventure, but they just keep getting pushed off a cliff. I know it's easy to look in through the windows and judge others choices, but I guess that's what people have doing to me lately... so does this fall into the category of, "an eye for an eye?"

It's not my style to call people out on what they're saying, unless it has a fairly significant impact on me. In the last year (hell, the last few months), I feel that I've been pulled into drama that I have no part of being... or that others create the drama for me. There was only one situation that I wanted to confront directly, but was asked to let it pass. Out of respect for that friend I did. Just like with my students, I see and know a lot more that what people realize. I'm good at keeping my mouth shut, but I also hold a grudge. (Guess it's tied to the family trait of being stubborn or just the fact that I put so much trust into people.)