If I have to be 'perfect' to keep my man faithful, then I'd rather just let him go and live alone. Perfect is an impossible state.

Dear Diary,

So last night I decided to go to Traverse for a night out because TamTam was supposed to be in town, so I wanted to try and meet up with her. Plus, I wanted to take the fellas so they could meet her. However, we also just needed a change in scenery. :) So we started at U & I Station for a few drinks. We found a half booth to sit at, so needless to say but we were REAL cozy. LOL! We were having a good time... Then after about half an hour of being there... I looked up and Dave walk in. Yes, the one and only Dave... I have scene him since we broke up, so the end of June. Yikes! The fellas were both on guard, getting good looks at him. So I freaked out a bit, but then relaxed because it was the IDEAL situation to be in. I looked good and was out with two guys, laughing and having fun. Then the group that Dave was with went to a bigger table meaning they had to walk RIGHT by us. He didn't look over, he knew for sure that it was me. Then the guy he was with DID look over making the final confirmation. LOL! Jack ass! So again the boys helped make feel better... I still was having a good time.

Then the Traverse Pipes & Steel Drum Band came walking in. You know you're in a small town when a Scottish Band comes marching in playing bag pipes and beating drums. Classic! So we enjoyed some good music. However, it was my turn to get up and use the bathroom (at this point we had had a couple of drinks). He was sitting right on the aisle. On my way back to the table, he looked... I'm not that big of a bitch to ignore him like he did to me. So he stood up and talked. I said, "Hey!" getting the impression that he was going to try and give me a hug. [Hmmm, really?!?] He asked what I was doing in TC and I told him that I was out with the boys... That we (even though it was just them) hit it hard the night before. He seemed impressed/ surprised that I was going out. I let him know that I was out most weekends these days. Then he took my hand (ummmm, what?!?) and asked if it would be okay to e-mail me, that he was curious about my Macintosh experiences. [Is that a geek's way of flirting?] I said sure, paritally because I was just curious. So we ended our talk there... I went back to the boys.

They were curious... immediatley wanting details. They caught on that I had embelished a bit [uh, yeah I did. Can't look like I've been moping around.] They both were talking a little shit still. They both had walked by Dave's table again and tried making complete eye contact, but nothing. I was still blown away that I ran into him. However, I was feeling VERY good about where I was in my life... who I was with and what I was doing. That was a good point to leave... which we did.

So diary, are your curious why I have this quote as my openner? It's because when I was with Dave I was at times made to feel that I was the inferior one. That the things that make me who I am was wrong. My desire to look for those who are close to me. My desire to help those who are important to me. My desire to take care of those who are important to me. In the end, it was his own insecurities that ended us. His inability to open up. Am I completely innocent? HELL NO! I definitely have my own issues and flaws.

So now, I am so curious on the e-mail that I might get. Not because I am WANTING it... NEEDING it... or anything like that... Just because I'm so curious on what the person who ended the relationship has to say to me. I've come past that. I am comfortable and happy with who I am. I have friends who appreciate and accept me for who I am. Diary, I'll keep you posted.