Attempting to form plans...

Dear Diary,

Well, it's still difficult to say... but I feel that I need to keep saying it remind myself of the consequences of choices that I made... which lead to this. Hi. I made many unwise choices (not even unwise, POOR choices) and have lost our home to foreclosure.

I had a brief moment of hope yesterday, until I realized that it was a third party scam. (Wow! How awesome of companys to do this to people!) There is some sort of plans starting to form. The good thing for us is that mom is a Realtor and has a few connections.

Plan 1: She knows an investor (possibly two) who might be willing to buy a house that we buy back from them. We have found a house that we like... (the plus) it's on a small lake (that looks like a pond), nice property, room for the animals, appears to be clean/dry... (the negatives) a manufactured house, further away from friends (which is also secretly a plus, we won't go out as much, run and get dinner as easily, etc), slightly further from our jobs (not too bad for Rockstar).

We are hoping that this one happens. So fingers crossed for today.

Plan 2: Again, through the Realtor chain... another Realtor has an investor who buys houses and rents them. He is currently buying a property right now and mom has mentioned us, hoping to rent from him if Plan 1 falls through.

I have to accept that the house will no longer be ours... that because of choices I made, I have turned our lives upside down. Rockstar is SO amazing. A lot of my guilt comes from knowing that he had nothing to do with it. BUT these are the feelings that I'm going to have to deal with. (The scary thought? This is happening to 9 million Americans... THAT is a lot of people and the banks don't seem to really be trying. I share more on that later.)

A final thought that cycled through my head yesterday... Met with Monkey #2 to do our Couch 2 5K (Week 3, Day 2). The one thing she said/asked is why it was the first she heard about it? Well, imagine telling someone... "I'm be foreclosed"... or "I'm losing the house." Asking them for money... we weren't out of money, that's a different boat... borrowing around $8000 to help cover costs, that's a lot of guilt hanging over my head (I know, if it saves your house, then it's fine.) BUT like I have said before, I REALLY thought we were safe... that we would get the loan modification... I have a job... the federal government is putting plans in place to help SAVE homes. Well, I guess the banks are not about saving homes.

So, that's enough ranting for now. It's mostly to get thoughts out of my head. However, I hope that you are sending good vibes our way... If Plan 1 could happen, then I think it would be a blessing and consider it a second chance to show that I have learned from this.

Thanks to those who are so worried about us... we really are doing okay. We are thinking logically and attacking this head on.